Patience Is a Virtue...or Something

Before Plan B can be developed, the gastroenterologist needs to see my guts. Thus, Wednesday morning starts off with a trip to X-ray. Based on the experience, I’ll take X-rays over CT scans any day. The first picture is taken standing up, and when the techs ask for one prone it only takes a couple of seconds on my back for them to get what they need. Way less painful than the scanning.

The other benefit of X-ray, at least in this case, is that I get to see the pictures. The techs are making sure everything came out as expected, and since I fancy myself an armchair radiologist, I take the opportunity look over their shoulders. Of course, as an armchair radiologist I have no freakin' idea what I’m looking at. Yeah, it vaguely looks like the X-rays you can pull out of Google (see above); and yeah, there’s a scary looking black spot, but for all I know that black spot is something important. Like maybe my gall bladder. What do I know? I'm just the patient here. But it’s still fun to see. Eventually, though, the fun’s over and I’m sent back to my room.

A while later the gastroenterologist appears to tell me that today’s colonoscopy has been cancelled. I’m still so full of crap (in this case, literally) that there’s no way they can perform the procedure. Moreover, the X-ray suggests that the mass in my colon isn’t yet a complete blockage so, given time, the GoLytely should eventually work. Thus, we’re back to Plan A. However, rather than trying to pound  back the complete bucket in just four hours, the gastroenterologist tells me to sip it slowly over the course of the next twenty-four. And then he gives me the good news and bad news. The good news is that this time I’ll also allowed to drink apple juice, which proves very useful in washing away the taste of the compound. The bad news is that since I’ve thrown up unrecorded quantities of the first bucket of nastiness, he’s going to prescribe an additional one to make sure I’m completely cleaned out. Oh joy.

So I spend the day sipping GoLytely alternated with apple juice, trying to stay on top of work email through the limited capabilities of my phone, and talking with Sib4 and SiL2, who have returned to help me keep vigil. 

And by late afternoon the gastroenterologist is proved right. The GoLytely starts working and…

Some things are definitely not worth writing about. Trust me. You don’t want to know.