Family of Origin Interlude #2

I don't think I'm revealing any big secrets here -- you don't have to interact with any one of us for very long to figure out that we're all generally doing our best to wind up in the driver's seat, one way or another -- but I come from a family of control freaks. Each of us has our own unique style of control freakery, of course, but when push comes to shove you can generally rely on my siblings and I to all want to be in charge. 

Except, of course, when we're together. 

When we're together, the need for control is immediately overwhelmed by all the family of origin crap that's impossible to escape.* Put my siblings and I together and there's always this undertone of the way things were when we were kids. For the most part, like most people, we adapt and deal; ride the patterns and go with the flow. But as the number three kid, going with the flow for me means sitting somewhere other than the driver's seat.

In terms of the next step in my cancer treatment, this is a bit of a problem for me. All the patient advocate stuff tells me I'm supposed to bring someone with me to my first consultation with the oncologist. But who am I supposed to bring? I no longer have a spouse, so that rules out the obvious choice. A sibling is the next obvious choice, but there's no way to bring one of them without ceding way too much power. Under the (ultimately mistaken) impression that I'll actually have choices when I meet with the oncologist, the only person  I want to be making those choices to be me.

The medical establishments unwillingness to let me come and go on my own is going to become an ongoing issue for me in this ordeal. In this case, I finally decide that my S2BXS as the only viable option for someone to meet the oncologist with me. Fortunately, she agrees to come along. Unfortunately, it doesn't really matter. There are few decisions to be made. 

* Check out all the social science research on things like birth order and its relationship to life time success, nepotism, etc. At risk of oversimplification, I think there are two basic rules in life: first, we're all doomed to become our parents; and second, it doesn't matter how far you go, family always sucks you back to where you started.