You Know What's Important?

Breathing. Breathing is important.

I'm learning this because for the past few days I've had some alarming -- and alarmingly frequent -- episodes of shortness breath. Every time I go in for a checkup the PA is always asking if I'm having any such experiences, and until now I've been able to say no. This time, though, I will definitely be opting for the yes answer. 

Unfortunately, I won't be able to have that conversation until $20,000 Thursday rolls around, so for the next two days I get to let my imagination run wild and come up with my own theories for what's going on. So far, I've come up with four seemingly viable possibilities:

Possibility #1 -- I'm just out of shape

In actuality, this is probably more of a certainty -- I was out of shape before this adventure started, and six months of chemo infusions followed by six months of chemo pills haven't really improved by shapeliness -- but I'm not sure it really explains what's going on. If climbing stairs or running for a bus was all that lead to shortness of breath, I'd lay the blame wholly on the fact that I'm a slug. But activity really has nothing to do with it. I seem to get weird random "how odd, I seem to have forgotten how to breathe" episodes just sitting in a chair. 

Possibility #2 -- I have allergies or a sinus infection or something

Again, also very likely, and if it were, say, April or May I might jump to this conclusion first. But August? Who has allergies that show up in August? Then again, Mum had allergies almost all year long so maybe it is just that.

Possibility #3 -- It's all psychosomatic

Yet another likely contributor. Go through one legitimate "I can't remember how to breathe" episode, and it's almost a guarantee that your brain is going to generate a couple of more just for entertainment's sake. This seems to happen most frequently when trying to swallow, a process which for the last three days has run  as follows:

1. Take a deep breath.
2. Take a small drink and swallow.
3. Hyperventilate, hyperventilate, hyperventilate.
4. Repeat as necessary until the glass is empty.

And then spend a few hours worrying that the difficulty breathing may become more permanent. Fun!

Possibility #4 -- The Voldemort Option

This one we're not going to mention by name, but let's just say it's possible that the problem that started in my colon and then migrated to my liver could've further migrated into parts that are important for breathing. This would pretty much completely and totally suck, so we'll wait and let a medical professional tell me I need to worry about this one.

But we'll find out Thursday if any of these are the likely, or if there's something else that ought to be considered. Until then, I'll just practice trying to consciously breathe as opposed to letting it just run on auto-pilot.