The Unusual Suspects

I'm not exactly sure what an ACE is, but since all of my medical providers are in agreement that mine need to be inhibited it now takes a dozen pills, plus a minimum of five injections, to get me through the day. Here's the current line-up...

A: Capecitabine (aka Xeloda), oral chemotherapy, 2000 mg (8 pills) a day
B: Venlafaxine, the anti-neuropathy anti-depressant, 37.5 mg a day*
C: Lisinopril, inhibiting my ACEs, 2.5 mg a day
D: Aspirin, to prevent blood clots, 325 mg a day
E: Fexofenadine, a generic allergy medication that allows me to breathe, 180 mg a day
F: Insulin glargine, 58 units a day, taken as two injections
G: Insulin lispro, variable amounts taken in three to five injections a day

And this is just the stuff I have to take. It doesn't include the infusions I get every three weeks, nor does it include the headache pills, anti-nausea medications (in three distinct varieties), gastrointestinal distress medications (four variations there), or whatever else some provider throws at me in response to some short-term issue. 

As a small child I frequently found myself placed among groups that for some reason or another were singing "I'm a Little Teapot." I can't say that experience ever left me feeling much like a teapot, but these days I'm sure as hell starting to feel like a petri dish. 

I'm a little petri dish
Flat and round
Side effects and drug interactions get me down...

Yeah, somehow I don't see that replacing the teapot song among the kindergarten set anytime soon. 


* I actually thought I was on 75 mg so I'll need to ask my PA about this. Sad to say, it wouldn't be the first time my dosage got screwed up between the SCCA and my pharmacy.