Today's Official Response to Oncology Day...

...will be presented by Kevin Kline, with support from Jamie Lee Curtis, in a scene from A Fish Called Wanda:

The contributing factors to this reaction are:

Number one: After three weeks of effort,* I managed to lose just 0.8 kg of weight. For those of you unable to do the kilogram to pound conversion in your head, this is just 1.75 pounds. My PA wouldn't even qualify it as weight "loss"; all she'd give me was "stable" (which I suppose is better than another fifteen pound gain). 

Number two: My current cancer treatment is inconsistent with ink. The Avastin, which is intended to prevent blood vessels from growing around the cancer, also prevents healing. The effects last for four weeks, and I get infusions every three. Thus, no tattoos without another extended break from treatment. I didn't even bother asking for a surgical referral. 

Number three: My tumor markers are up again. Not as much as last time, but still higher. If I recall correctly, the most recent values were 14.something, 19.4, and now 21.7. This is not trending in the right direction.

And number four: At least one of my liver tumors has grown since my last official scan. They did an out of cycle scan of my lungs at my last appointment looking for an embolism and the scanner caught the top part of my liver. Since it was in the picture, they measured the tumor. It had previously been measured at about 1.5 centimeters in diameter and now it's roughly 2.5. Admittedly, a centimeter seems small, but since what matters with tumors is volume you've got to divide each of those numbers in half and then cube the results. In short, it's about five times bigger than it was.

My PA told me not to worry about it; that we'd know more after my next scan in two-and-a-half weeks, and there was no reason to get too excited just yet.

Easy for her to say.

But I won't worry. Instead I'll just climb into bed, pull the pillow over my head, and pretend that I didn't hear a word she said. I find denial can be a very effective coping mechanism.


* Well, not Biggest Loser kind of effort. More of a "I'll have the small frozen yogurt instead of the large" kind of effort.