Dread, Part 1

Apparently, the cancer biz has a concept called "anticipatory nausea." The patient, gearing up for their next chemo infusion, starts to feel nauseous before the first of the drugs are actually administered. Good times!

Happily, I have yet to experience anticipatory nausea, but I am starting to feel what I'm calling "infusion dread." Infusion dread is sort of like the Sunday night blues, only it's a lot worse and it lasts a lot longer. In my case, I've reached the point where the infusion dread starts the Sunday before my next infusion. By Sunday, I'm over the effects of the prior cycle -- able to again drink iced beverages -- but the coming cycle is on the radar (i.e., the week's calendar view in Outlook). So even though there were three full days before Cycle 4 starts, I spent all of this past Sunday dreading Wednesday's infusion. 

Admittedly, my experience of chemo has been far from the worst reaction in the world, but I've still reached the point where I absolutely detest the experience. I cannot overstate how much I hate chemo. Short of dying, I would do most anything to avoid undergoing anymore infusions. But since the only option is dying, it's off to the infusions I'll go. 

But I don't have to like it. And I will spend Sundays... and Mondays... and Tuesdays... dreading it.