It's Been a Long Week

Sorry for the lack of updates, but it's been a long week. Actually, it's been a sleepy week. At least twice this past week I got home from work at about 6:30, read the new Neal Stephenson novel for about an hour (until my eyes gave out since I have yet to utilize my new prescription), and then decided to take a nap which turned into eleven hours of sleep. 

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate chemotherapy infusions? 

In fact, that's part of my current problem: I'm starting to think my oncologist and I have gotten onto different pages in the playbook. Some of this is the result of the sudden appearance of surgery as a possible option. It would be awesome if surgeons could just just cut the cancer out of me, and would totally change all my current calculations, but until I get final word from the tumor committee it's just a random idea. Random ideas aren't really helpful, leaving me in this weird liminal space where I've got no way to make an informed decision as there's no actual information. 

The other problem is the effect of the ininotecan infusion. I've only had one and, quite frankly, I already hate it. So the question is, are they giving it to me as some sort of longer term plan to actually get rid of the cancer (acceptable) or are they giving it to me to try to try stretch out my life while at the same time grossly reducing my capability of actually living a life (unacceptable). 

I'm realizing I got so sidetracked by the idea of the clinical trial that I forgot to ask the right questions about plan B. It wasn't until I was sleeping away 15% of my time in Budapest that I realized there were some questions I need answers to, like what the point of the irinotecan infusion is.

It should be an entertaining conversation with my PA on Thursday. But until then, things seem a less definitive than they have been. I, for one, do better with definitive.