Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions #1

Soon it will be the holidays, and everyone will be running around trying to come up with gift ideas for their friends and loved ones. So I thought I'd throw out some ideas, though, admittedly, their applicability may be somewhat limited.

So here's my first suggestion. If you happen to need to buy a gift for someone who has been on infusions of irinotecan, but is now done, and won't be going back onto the drug again -- ever -- here's what you should buy them for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza or whatever it is you celebrate: A brand new toilet. 

I guarantee it will be appreciated.

You see, I've been on irinotecan for a few weeks now, and I also have a relatively broad experience with various systems for managing human sewage. I've been in some awfully scary bathrooms in Vietnam and China, as well as a few in countries with infrastructure that can't support sending toilet paper down the sewer pipes so they put a little basket next to the toilet so you have a place to leave it. (If you're lucky, the basket has a lid.) I have been in campgrounds across the Northwest with bathrooms ranging from buildings with actual water to a hole dug in the ground with a toilet seat set on top of it, and most everything in between. I've been to music festivals, food festivals, art shows, and most every other kind of group gathering with way too few porta-potties for the number of people in attendance. 

In short, I have seen some very scary bathroom facilities, but I would probably choose any one of them over my own bathroom after a few weeks on irinotecan. I must've spent twenty minutes today trying to clean my toilet, and I'm still not entirely sure I'd call it clean. In truth, if replacing it wouldn't require touching it, I'd almost prefer to just rip it out and replace it every week or so than to have to try to clean it. 

Nasty, nasty business.

But if by some miracle I actually get off the irinotecan and have more than a few weeks of expected life remaining, I can guarantee that one of the first things I'll do is buy a new toilet and throw away the old one. 

So under the right circumstances, a new toilet can be an awfully nice gift.