A Possible Addition to the Cancer Center Services

I think I've found a service the cancer centers don't offer, but should: manicures. I'm finding that the pill-based chemo is having two primary side effects. First, there's the neuropathy in my feet, which just gets worse with each passing week; and second, there's the complete destruction of my fingernails. 

The neuropathy I'm supposed to treat with a combination of cow creams* and anti-depressants**, but the best the staff at the cancer center could recommend for the fingernails was that I eat more Jell-o. 

I'm all for Jell-o, but I can't really afford to wait for the gelatin to make its way through my system to my fingernails. A more immediate solution is needed. In short, I could use a manicure.

The problem is, at this point there's not really anything left to perform a manicure on. I have clipped my fingernails as low as they can possible go, and yet they're still splitting and cracking. I've had to find a new place to keep my keys, as reaching into my pockets inevitably results in my nails splitting and tearing. 

But if the cancer center had a manicurist who could deal with your cracking, splitting fingernails while they were giving you the drugs that caused the cracking and splitting, that would be cool. 


* I'm supposed to rub "Udderly Smooth" or "Bag Balm" on my feet since the drug that causes the neuropathy settles in you callouses, which are both lotions ostensibly designed to sooth skin problems on cow udders.

** Don't get me started on the odd way drugs get repurposed. I was talking to a co-worker today who mentioned that he was given an anti-psychotic medication to treat hiccups that wouldn't go away. And given the way I'm feeling these days, I could probably use the anti-depressant benefits of an anti-depressant anyway, irrespective of what it does for my feet.