O Mi Gawd

Yesterday afternoon, a friend and I went for a drive. Afterwards, we went for Thai food. This is what I ate: eight snap peas, three small mushrooms, a bit of a tuna fresh roll, and two glasses of iced tea. And within ten minutes, I was in agony.

So we came back and I tried spending time in the bathroom, then lying on the couch, anything to get back to normal. Nothing worked. So my friend took and Uber home and I took an Oxycontin and a sleeping pill and went to bed.

And then I woke up this morning. 

Even post surgery, I think the pain was less than what I felt this morning. So I tried Oxycontin, and methodical breathing, lying on the bed, lying on the couch -- anything I could do to mitigate the pain. None of it worked.

Eventually I texted some friends to see if they could grab my prescription for magnesium citrate from the pharmacy. It's only three blocks away, but there was no way I could make it. Happily, one was able to step away from what she was doing and drop it off. Normally, it takes about four to six hours to take effect, you spend a couple of really painful hours in the bathroom, and then you're back to normal.

Hasn't quite worked out that way this time, but at least the pain has dialed down to something a bit more tolerable.

And in the course of all this I made an appointment for tomorrow with the palliative nurse to try to develop some better pain mitigation strategies. 

'Cause I'll be honest: a couple of days like today in a row, and I won't need to wait for killer drugs. I'll just muster enough energy to go outside and step in front of a bus. 

This kind of pain isn't survivable.